"The Day"

As "the day" rapidly approaches I begin to feel the sting, my eyes well up with emotion. It is still 10 days away but I can feel it all around me and my heart keeps breaking. I didn't know it would hurt this much. I have been felling so good about my life and moving forward. I will continue to do so but my heart it doesn't want to for the moment. It wants to remember picking that prefect dress, picking out the music, it misses holding hands and admiring that shiny beautiful diamond ring. It remembers all the stuff my head didn't want to think about. It would have been three years. We were still practically newly weds. We were so happy and excited to start our new life. Now I lay here alone in my bed my face drenched in tears of sadness, completely overwhelmed by the feelings that have finally overcome me. I don't want to feel this... I want to not care and I want to laugh and pretend it doesn't affect me(which I'm pretty good at unless you read my blog). I'm sad I don't care who knows it, I don't care anymore. I'm tired of being strong. I just want to cry until I fall asleep. Stupid stupid anniversary, it was supposed to be a happy day to celebrate the day that we tied out lives together now it is just a painful reminder that we sucked at being married.