"The Day"

As "the day" rapidly approaches I begin to feel the sting, my eyes well up with emotion. It is still 10 days away but I can feel it all around me and my heart keeps breaking. I didn't know it would hurt this much. I have been felling so good about my life and moving forward. I will continue to do so but my heart it doesn't want to for the moment. It wants to remember picking that prefect dress, picking out the music, it misses holding hands and admiring that shiny beautiful diamond ring. It remembers all the stuff my head didn't want to think about. It would have been three years. We were still practically newly weds. We were so happy and excited to start our new life. Now I lay here alone in my bed my face drenched in tears of sadness, completely overwhelmed by the feelings that have finally overcome me. I don't want to feel this... I want to not care and I want to laugh and pretend it doesn't affect me(which I'm pretty good at unless you read my blog). I'm sad I don't care who knows it, I don't care anymore. I'm tired of being strong. I just want to cry until I fall asleep. Stupid stupid anniversary, it was supposed to be a happy day to celebrate the day that we tied out lives together now it is just a painful reminder that we sucked at being married.

Onward we go

Lets play catch up first.... It is now 2012 baby!! Happy New Years everyone!!
So lets start with where I left off. The baby business. He was genuine in his offer but as much as I would love another baby I just cannot bring myself to stay married to him just because of that. End of story. Love ya man but its time for us to move on with our lives.

I got a great job! I work at Tutor Time! Its fun and I love the kids, my coworkers are fantastic and everyone is super nice. I had completely forgotten how nice it is to work outside the home.

Sadiebaby turned 3! Yikes my baby girl is growing up!

Kenna is starting her second semester of Kindergarten!

Christmas came and went with only a minor hiccup on the 23rd when I had to have surgery. (No
biggie just had a hernia that had to be fixed)

New Years rolled around, We had an absolute blast Kenna and Braedan were champs and made it past midnight, Adam knocked out shortly after but these two did not want to give in and go to bed. Kenna got a super cute makeover thank you Michelle! She enjoyed it and she is adorable ...

Moving on to today...
I'm still not working due to said surgery and mystery unexplainable pain. I have three ultrasounds scheduled for Thursday hopefully answers will come of that!

Huge Thanks and a world of gratitude to my fantastic family, Specifically Kim and Chris. These two have been rock stars these past few weeks, from taking me to the hospital to helping with my kids they have done every thing to make this getting better easier. No words can express how thankful I am to you two! I love you guys so much thank you so much for all you do!

Lastly and most exciting for me anyway... I met a man! We are just in the getting to know you stages we have gone out a few times and he is such a wonderful guy. I feel like a 13 years old who has her first crush! I missed this whole part with "He who shall not be named" because we jumped in and had a baby then got married... So its very nice to actually take time and get to know somebody new. Plus I think he is cute and big bonus he is all gentleman, including but not limited to opening car doors and wrapping me up in his coat if I get too cold. :) Anyway I'm getting carried away.

So back to life I should be hopefully back to work next week! Assuming we can figure out what is causing the pain in my side. Kenna and Sadie start school back up on Thursday so maybe tomorrow we will do some hurt mommy friendly things like making a craft or painting our nails.